A post from earlier this year on possible brain tumor or MS symptoms. Finally met with a neurologist last week (after a YEAR). She thinks it might be from stroke/TIA(s) or epilepsy/seizure disorder. I’ll be getting my head scanned next week (I hope).

  Okay, so this is partially for posterity and partially to see if anyone out there has any thoughts or advice.

July 2019: Had a seizure…collapse, temporary loss of consciousness, spasms of arms and legs (no head-banging). Followed by about 30 mins of tremors and extreme cramping/pain in extremities.

Nov/Dec 2019: while at work as a 911 dispatcher, began having headaches with memory loss of procedures I had done thousands of times. Prior to this, I was the “go-to” for procedural and medical questions, with an encyclopedic knowledge of emergency medicine. Symptoms continued until February 2020, when I left the job for fear of compromising patient care. In this three months symptoms were recurring intermittently. Experimented with diet and sleep with no correlation found. I was on Lexapro at the time and thought that may be a contributing factor.

March-May 2020: Symptoms improved.

Late May/June 2020: symptoms returned with greater severity. Extreme short-term memory loss, loss of lexicon, balance and vision problems. Left eye white-out and walking like I was drunk. Severe depression with chronic suicidality and anhedonia. Went to mental health in early June due to feeling suicidal because the pain was so severe. Spent four days at the hospital and behavioral health. Asked every staff member I came in contact with for a CT or MRI, but they refused. Was released with no medical or mental-health care provided. My wife left me because she “didn’t want to be my caretaker”. One of the weirdest things was being unable to identify things that I definitely knew, like the taste of mustard on a sandwich. I was like, “Hmmm, what’s this interesting flavor?”

July-Sept 2020: with my wife gone and being unable to drive, I hired a live in caretaker. Shortly after moving in, she failed to provide any services and began trashing my house. I could not get help from adult protective services or Fresno sheriff’s department. My stress level increased dramatically and along with it the headache and memories symptoms. I had chronic fatigue but also insomnia through August. Saw some improvement in September.

Oct-Nov 2020: began seeing a new psychiatrist and changed from Lexapro to Effexor. After about six weeks of titration, symptoms stopped, depression improved, and suicidality was gone. I’ve been dealing with, or medicated for, depression for about 16 years and haven’t seen this much improvement. I was going to a psychologist that I really liked for about two months before she no-called/no-showed and I never heard from her again. Her business is now closed, so I can only hope that everything is okay with her. It’s too bad because she is the first therapist/psychologist that I have actually liked. She agreed that I am on the autism spectrum.

January 2021: symptoms returned with increased severity – memory loss, language loss and pain behind the eye. Sometimes had to use a cane for walking. Depression and fatigue increased but without suicidality. Increase in motor-skill difficulty, like opening a jar. My procedural memory is still okay, for example, I can still play guitar, though, I have no desire to.

February 2021: minor or non-existent symptoms.

March 2021: symptoms returned in two spells of 3-5 days. One at the beginning of the month and one at the end of the month. I usually feel okay in the morning but by one or two p.m. I’m completely exhausted, in pain and unable to think or concentrate.

  List of chronic or recurring symptoms: – Extreme short-term memory loss (most frustrating/worrying)

– Loss of lexicon, speaking and writing. Vocabulary okay when listening/reading.

– Pain behind left eye (usually the first sign an episode is coming on). – Vision loss or blurry vision in left eye. – Ambulation difficulty. Walking in a weaving pattern, like I’m drunk. – Neck and upper-back pain – C and upper-T vertibrae. – Chronic, disabling fatigue, regardless of amount of sleep, exercise or diet. – Motor-skill difficulties (less common) – Confusion – dates, places, names, etc. Doing things like going to the bathroom to take my contacts out and, instead, brushing my teeth. Going downstairs to get my phone-charger, but instead, getting a drink (five times in a row, once) – Insomnia, even though I’m always exhausted. Not improved with Rx or OTC meds. Even when I can fall asleep normally, I almost always wake up three hours later and can’t get back to sleep. – Pins-and-needles feeling in legs and feet (less common). – Diarrhea (often), regardless of diet. – Depression (often) with suicidality and anhedonia. – Anxiety. Especially social anxiety and constant feeling of foreboding.

– No interest in sex (often) and inability to ejaculate (less common).



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