Okay, so I’m only a couple of chapters into this book so far, but a few things have really resonated with me. First, the opening line of the book, “It’s so hard to talk when you want to kill yourself.” (continues) “That’s above and beyond everything else, and it’s not a mental complaint – it’s a physical thing, like it’s physically hard to open your mouth and make the words come out.”
I can definitely relate to this. Not that I have trouble talking when depressed (though, I am often alone, so who knows. I do talk to the dogs, though). But other actions, like eating are particularly difficult. Like, it seems impossible to open my mouth, chew and swallow – both from a physical and mental aspect. Nothing ever sounds good to eat and anything I do eat tastes like ash and is impossible to swallow, like my throat is closed up.
Another aspect that I could relate to is when he’s talking about not smoking pot for several weeks because maybe it’s the pot that is sucking the life out of him. Then, when that doesn’t help, smoking a lot of weed, because maybe it’s the lack of pot that’s the problem. In the end, it’s neither.
There are other aspects, like hiding in the bathroom to be alone or not being able to pay attention to those around you, but I just thought I’d share the two I enjoyed. Looking forward to reading the rest of this book in the coming week.
Also, what’s “one-five”? I’d never heard of it before and I can’t recall what we (in California) used to say to save our seats when we were kids.
It’s Kind of a Funny Story by Ned Vizzini